Forever & Always
by Nerdy Girly
Summary: What happens when the fight against Voldemort takes James away from Lily & their friends, and none of them know how long he'll be gone? I'm horrible with summaries but I have a feeling you won't be disappointed!
1. Preface

**Preface**

"So, I would like to say congratulations to completing probably the longest 7 years you will ever have. To Love, Life, and Happiness. I would like to say welcome to the wizardry world, class of '77." Albus Dumbledore recited at the Hogwarts graduation ceremony. As he finished his speech the 17 year old witches and wizards threw off their hats and went off to pack up their belongings for the train ride home the next morning.

"Hey, Evans!"

"Yeah, Potter,"

"Would you like to accompany me to the Heads Dorms?"

"It would be my pleasure." Lily Evans said with a smirk on her face as she intertwined her hand with her boyfriend of 9 months'.

"James,"

"Yes, my Lily Flower?"

"Promise me, that you'll never leave me. That it'll be you and me forever and always."

"Lils, I promise that no matter what I'll never leave you"

"Pinkie promise?"

"Isn't my word enough?"

"No. Pinkie promise"

"No, it's silly… I swear to you I'll never leave you." James Potter said, leaving down to kiss her, only to face disappointment when she turned her head to the side.

"James," She said with a pout on her porcelain face, "Look we're already here. Well I'll see you, later Potter."

"Lils…" And she walked away to her room only to leave him standing there disappointment etched on his face, "I pinkie promise" he quietly said as her door slammed to a shut.

* * *

(A few years later)

Lily and James were living together in a flat, right in the center of London. Lily was a Healer for Mungo's and James was an Auror, both of them had their dream jobs. Since Hogwarts the little rumor that an evil wizard named Voldemort was rising, to Voldemort becoming a common everyday topic. One day James was called into Moody's office and was told he was to go on a mission that could take days, weeks, months, or years, and that was very dangerous.

"Lils"

"James, I know Alice wrote me when she found out who was assigned. I know you're going to ask me if I'm okay with it and I'll wait for you,"

"Lils, you know I don't want to do this. Well, I do want to go on the mission, but I don't want to leave you behind." James said coming up behind her and hugging her from behind taking in her scent one last time, "I'll go but if you don't hear from me in a long time please, please move on and try not to think of me or anything."

"Wh- when do you leave?" She asked her voice getting caught in her throat.

"Tonight. Lily Marie Evans I want you to know that i have always loved you, since well, you know..." James started looking off embarrassed, Lily turned around in his arms and giggled silently before saying

"I know."

A few more words were exchanged and then James was off, and neither knew when he would return or if he would ever return.

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**AN:** Okay this plot has been in my head for awhile now, it's been in my head when I read, when I'm in class, in my dreams, when I play sims, watch TV, eat, it's EVERYWHERE. So, I figured I'll try something kinda different than what I've been trying, I promise that i will write at least 1 if not 2 chapters monthly! Please review, it would really make me know what you guys want to see happen in the story


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Do you think I'm J.K. Rowling???**

"James…" I said groggily patting the bed with my right arm for my boyfriend at noon, only to face the fact that he was gone. I wanted to believe that it was all just a terrible, terrible dream, to wake up in his arms and feel the feeling of completeness again.

Last night after we parted I had been an emotional wreck. I did something I hadn't done since my parent's death; I went out and got drunk. This time though I did it with class, well as much class as you can have while getting wasted in a smelly bar. Shockingly though, when I woke up I didn't feel half as bad as I should from all the alcohol consumed, but I guess having the love of your life go away for Merlin knows how long, you're bound to be in a type of pain that overrules the usual hangover. At least I have off today, so I don't have to go and see all the happy couples in the maternity ward.

I know I told him to go but he could be gone for years or die. And to think just a few weeks ago we started talking about taking the next step and I don't think I can ever be that happy again. I wonder if I'm allowed to write to him, I bet it's "forbidden" but he's the only person I really have left. Sure, there's Alice, and Frank, Remus, Sirius, & Peter, and Marlene, but I just need him. I already feel lost, like I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here. It's like my first day at Hogwarts all over again, lost, confused, and anxious.

"Lilikins! Jamesypoo! I ow- I mean we bring food!" Sirius Black 'sang' through out the flat we just bought last year, with Remus close behind shaking his head at his close friend.

"Sirius, Remus, James isn't here." I said while walking out of the bedroom, and trying to be strong and hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"Oh, where is he then? Because, boy do I have news for him!" Sirius said excitement etched in his gray eyes. He honestly hasn't change too much since Hogwarts. Of course Remus being so observant noticed my eyes and gave me his all knowing look and smacked Sirius on the head.

"Padfoot, I think he's not going to be back for awhile,"

"But, you guys are more than welcome to stay and hang out and talk, and stuff…"

"Of course Lily, you obviously need u-"

"But what about James? Where is he? Did you two break up?"

"Padfoot! Are you that dumb? James has gone on a mission."

"Oh." Sirius said falling quiet at once, "Well when will he be back?"

That was about as far as I could make it before breaking down into the hysterics all over again. The last thing I could remember was Sirius giving me chocolate and Remus giving me some medicine for the obvious depression I was going through. Which I shouldn't be this depressed, we've only been apart for less than one day. I feel horrible for doing that to the guys they're practically family to me. It was probably for the best though, that I went to bed even if it was only 5 o' clock.

(In Lily's dream)

Where am I? What's going on? Wait, is that James over there, what is that man doing to him?

"James!" I opened my mouth to scream, yet no sound came out of my mouth.

As I walked over to where he was, I heard a hiss like voice coming from a snake looking man with cruelty and death etched in his blood red eyes, and hunger for power shown in every inch of his face. He was taunting James and motioning to the bodies lying lifelessly around them. He was trying to get James to go and join him, become a death eater. Of course James was being a smart arse like always and was mocking the man, who is most likely Voldemort, and suddenly a bright green flash came from the man's wand and James fell to the ground, dead.

"No! Don't kill him," I screamed in the dark. "He's, he's..." and there goes the tears, again.

"Lily? Lily wake up it was just a bad dream." someone said soothingly rubbing my back.

"Ja- James? Is that you? Oh, I thought..."

"It's Remus, Lily are you okay you don't seem like yourself?"

"I don't know. I just, I'm worried Remus. He promised me, forever and always you know, he swore he'd never leave me."

"I know. But do you think he really wanted to leave you. He was going to, never mind I should not of said anything."

"What was he going to do? Remus please, please tell me." I pleaded sitting up in my bed with tears running down my cheeks.

"Just go back to bed Lily, you have work tomorrow."

"But, Remus please."

"Just close your eyes and let sleep overcome you, You'll find out when the time is right, okay?"

"But, okay" I said giving up.

"I'll come check up on you tomorrow, goodnight Lily."

As Remus was walking towards the door a sudden impulse made me ask him if I would be able to write to James, only to hear the response of "no clue". As soon as the wooden door was softly shut, and I could hear Remus' footsteps down the hall to tell Sirius to start cleaning up the mess he made. I just sat there thinking about what could of been. We wanted to get married, buy a house, start a family, live happily ever after. Now, I doubt that would ever happen, to my dismay. Since I couldn't go back to sleep I stumbled to the desk that belonged to his mother that we placed in the bedroom, and began writing to my first and most likely only love, with the tears stopping and slowing down.

_Dear James,_

_Hi. How are you? Okay, that sounds really silly but that's me, Silly Lily. Again that sounds stupid. I just wanted to let you know that I miss you more than I thought possible and that I love you. And I mean what I said after graduation forever and always. I hope you meant it too. I'll wait for you my love, as long as you keep writing. Okay, this letter kinda sounds pathetic but I'm too, too lazy to re-do it. I hope you'll be able to get this. I'm going to the Ministry during my lunch break to see if Moody can give it to you. Well stay safe and out of harm's way. Well, actually I probably should say don't go looking for trouble nothing good will come from knowing you you'll probably run into some trouble intended or not._

_Love Always,_

_Lily_

_P.S. Remus said there was something you wanted to do for/to/with me, you don't have to tell me I'm just curious, that's all._

**A.N:** Okay, reviews would be an AWESOME thing_. _Chapters 2 & 3 are already written just getting revised.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Do you think I'm J.K.????**

**Chapter Two**

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"But, Moody, please I'm beginning you please get this to him." I begged the head Auror.

"Sorry, Evans, but I can't give it to him-" Mad Eye replied a slight hint of sympathy in his real eye.

"There has got to be some way that you could get this letter to him though."

Just then a man came into the office with a box levitating behind him.

"Sir, the supplies for Potter and crew are here when do you want them to be sent out??"

Of course, the supplies! My letter could be put in that box.

"Don't even think about it Evans!" Moody barked at me, I guess he figured out, that I would want the letter to be sent with the supplies. "Don't you have to get back to Mungo's?" He asked as the man left the room the box sitting on Moody's desk, which was already pretty cluttered with reports, and what not.

"Sir, I'm going to stay here until this," I held up the letter, "gets sent out to James."

"Fine, I already have enough to do, without you bugging me, just set it on top of the box, and I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you Alastor, this means so much to me." As I was walking out the door I heard him mutter under his breath something that sounded like 'I didn't become the head Auror only to have to be an owl.'

As I looked down at James' old watch, which he gave me last year, I realized I was already thirty minutes over my lunch break. Crap, this isn't going to go over well with Bright, he already hates me enough. When I walked through Mungo's front doors, the lady at the front desk, Susan I believe her name is, told me Bright just sent her a message saying he wanted to speak with me in private. Great, not only is my boyfriend gone for God knows how long, I'm going to get fired just great.

"Lily!" My best friend since our first year of Hogwarts, Alice, yelled running up to me to hug me. "Did Sherrie tell you that Bright wanted to see us?" a look of seriousness came upon her face while a look of utter confusion slowley became etched onto my face.

"Who's Sherrie?" At this Alice laughed and pointed to the lady at the desk, "Oh, I thought her name was Susan…"

"Anyways, Bright just sent for me too, he said it's urgent."

"Why would he want you to be in the room when he fires me?"

"Lils, I doubt he wants to fire you."

* * *

"Longbottom, Evans, I need to discuss something with you two, that will effect the entire hospital." Bright said as we entered his office.

"You did say it was urgent." Alice said sitting at one of the two chairs across from his desk. I probably should sit down at one, you know just to be polite.

"Yes, yes it's very important, it involves two of the wards here." As he said that I began to worry, what if he's not only going to fire me Head of the Maternity ward but Alice too, the Head of Artifact Accidents ward.

"Now, Evans you're in charge of the Maternity Ward and Longbottom you take care of the Artifact Accidents, correct?"

"Yes Sir." We answered in unison worry hinting at the very edge of our voices.

"It has been brought to my attention that Potter, is your longtime boyfriend, correct"

I simply nodded and he continued. "Considering the state that you're currently in-" Of course before he could finish I cut him off, not the best way to treat a boss that hates you.

"Sir, I'm in perfect condition to continue seeing to my job you have no reason to fire me or Alice! James has no effect on me or my job here! I can continue on just fine, it's not as though I have some deadly disease" I yelled at him not realizing I stood up and was now in a position to cause harm on the chair.

"Evans, sit down!" He roared, and continued. "Now before you interupted me I was going to ask if you wouldn't mind swapping positions with Longbottom, I'm sure she wouldn't mind considering she's married, and there's not too large of a chance that she would be committed working there." As he said this shock was probably very evident on my face as well as Alice's.

"What if, I don't want to switch? What if, she doesn't want to switch?"I asked looking from Alice to Bright.

"Lils, I don't mind really. He kinda has a point. James, your boyfriend of 2 years, just left for Merlin knows how long, and you two were just talking about marriage. You could lose it in the Maternity Ward, just swap with me. Will it be temorary or permanent Sir?" Alice said very calmly which shocked me, since I would think she would be as opposed to this as I am.

"Whatever, you two decide will be temporary for the next few months," This news relieved me considering I only came here to work with the pregant witches, and joyus dad's, and precious babies. "But if Potter isn't back in 2 months I will be put under pressure by the board to make it permanent."

"Yes, sir. When will we offically start working in our new wards?"

"Tomorrow. I'll give you both the rest of the day to inform your staffs of the swap & to get your offices set-up. You may go now ladies."

As we were leaving Bright's office I couldn't help but feel he was right, I could lose it in the maternity ward, seeing all those happy couples get a beautiful baby, and for me to have a boyfriend somewhere I wasn't allowed to know and for him to be away for months or years, and possibly die.

* * *

(James' POV)

"Potter, she stopped by today and wouldn't leave until I promised to give this to you. But I'm telling you right now I'm not going to be your owl or her owl, I thought I made it clear there was to be no communication with the outside world"

"Lily? Why would she do that she knows the rules."

"Just take this and make sure it stops okay?"

"Yeah, sure just give it to me." I said curious as to why Lily, a level headed sensible girl, would do something like this. Okay I know I shouldn't be too shocked, considering we were just takling about marriage and children, then out of the blue I'm getting shipped off to some random country for no specified amount of time. It's probably just a letter telling me how she met someone and wanted to tell me so I won't be expecting anything. As I read her letter all I could think was 'oh, crap' She expects me to write back to her. Well, I might as well considering I'm stuck in this tent for a few more hours or so.

* * *

_My Dearest Lily Flower,_

_I just got & read your letter. I enjoyed it very much so. I'm not sure I can write back to you or if you can write to me to be honest. Moody wasn't too happy delivering your letter, I'm still in shock he gave it to me. I meant it too, eventhough I didn't pinkie promise, but you already knew that (or at least I hope you did). How're Remus, Sirius, & Peter? Tell them I say 'hi' and give Sirius somme greif from me okay? Eventhough Moody won't like this I promise to write to you everyday until I come back home. Oh, and as much as I'd love to tell you what Remus said or meant by his remark I feel as though it would be too impersonal to be stated in a letter._

_Love Always,_

_James

* * *

_**A.N. Hoped you liked it leave feedback please, positive negative or neutral!That's about it.... Click that button please!**_  
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	4. I'm still alive Author's Note

Hey guys! Okay, so this isn't a new chapter, but an author's note. I know I haven't updated in forever, and i'm sorry, a lot has been happening and that's no excuse, but that's all I'm going to say on that subject.

BUT summer is here now in good 'ole TEXAS, meaning 3 months of writing time, and summer school. Summer in my house means making a goal list of everything you want to accomplish by the end of August and guess what's on the list right before get along with brother and right after the title?

Goal #1: Publish at least one thing at least every 2 weeks on fanfiction (not including reviews)

* * *

Now if there is anything you really, really want to happen pleaswe review or leave me a pm or something feedback is great!!! I've written a 1,000 word intro to chapter 3 and I plan on writing at least 1,000+ more words for the chapter as a semi-sorry for not updating in a long time! I just finished Sex and the City (movie) and I am inspired! Hope you like the next few chapters and I plan on publishing a lot more this summer, plus a little oneshot on the Giant Squid and the Basilisk!

That's all for now loves,

Allison


	5. Chapter 3

**Forever and Always Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognize from the books, just what you don't recognize!!!**

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait and I hope you're all satisfied!**

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As I walked down to the mailboxes on the first floor of my flat and opened my always empty box, for the first time in a month, a letter fell out. Who would be writing to me? Surely not Alice or Remus or Sirius or Peter, I see them weekly if not daily.

'Oh, well I'll open it later. Bright will kill me if I'm late again…'

Walking to Mungo's an odd sensation creeped upon me, one I had felt since my days at Hogwarts as a little girl. A feeling of happiness and joy, a feeling of completion. Which was quite odd because nothing was going the way it should, James was gone and not writing to me, I'm not in my normal ward, and there are people dying and I can't help them at all. It baffled me; I had no idea why I was feeling like that for the previous stated reasons.

When I entered my ward, people, whose names I still don't remember, were running up to me asking me what to do about a freak Quidditch accident. I honestly had no idea what to do, which scared me. I, Lily Evans, didn't know the answer for the first time, in a very, very long time. I just told them to follow through with the normal procedure, that's when I met him.

I was in my office going through the loads of paperwork the quidditch accident required, the letter I received forgotten in my desk's bottom drawer, when I heard a timid knock at my door. When I told the knocker to come in he, Peter I believe his name is, told me I was needed in room 156, which is never a good sign. When I walked through the door a saw a man lying in the bed with skin as white as I have ever seen it, gashes running up and across his muscular chest, bruises as large as two hands put together turning purple all over his body. He was by far the least affected patient in the ward. When I turned to my staff in his room and asked them why they hadn't done a simple spell to stop the bleeding and given him a potion to reduce the bruises, they told me his body was repelling everything. When I attempted to perform the simple charm a second year could do it bounced off of him and bounced into the painting across from his bed, tearing the canvas. The man in front of me was unconscious and was by far the worst one in the ward. Everything we did to him had to be muggle medicine and muggle supplies, everything made by and for the wizarding world was rejected by his body.

A week had gone by since the accident and no one had any idea what had caused the entire team into the state they were in their minds being obliviated before anyone found them. The whole team was out of Mungo's by the end of the week, everyone but the man in room 156. I, being the only muggle born in the ward, was in his room every chance she got hoping he would wake up and remember how he got there, what his name was, and more. The muggle take on his healing was frowned upon by many of my staff and the board of Mungo's, yet it was doing what magic would do only a bit slower. The team took shifts in visiting this man every day. It was them who told me about him every day. His name was Bryan Smith, and he was the star chaser for their team. When I accidentally asked if he was seeing anyone their seeker, Chase Knightly, told me to my disappointment that he was in a very secretive and exclusive relationship to a model in France. I started to get those little butterflies in my stomach every time I saw my patient, which wasn't a desired effect.

A month went by in a flash and Bryan was awake and healing beautifully. I didn't think about James nearly as much as I should have and it was probably a good thing. Life was good and everything was okay for once. When Bryan was discharged from Mungo's a month later he asked me out for a victory dinner, per say. No one thought he would survive and I was the only one who had faith and healed him from basically scratch. There had been no notice from Moody or any of the aurors about James' or anyone's deaths, no letters from him, of course I rarely checked my box at the flat so, that could be the reason for no letters.

* * *

Later the next month, while I was preparing for my strictly business dinner with Bryan, I couldn't help but wonder why his model girlfriend never popped in or sent anything to him. Could she be made up? Was Chase lying to me? Why did it feel as though this isn't just a business dinner? Those thoughts were swimming in my head when he apparated into my flat. I honestly need to put protection charms on this place.

"Ready?" The quidditch player yelled from my living room, for that was where he apparated to.

"Just about!" I yelled, and in my haste I knocked down a picture of James and me right after we bought the flat, and it fell down to the ground and the glass shattered in a million pieces on my scarlet rug. "Shit" I mumbled to myself.

"Everything okay, Lily?" Concern was in his voice and a hint of something I hadn't heard in a while and didn't remember.

"Yeah, I just knocked something down but I'll fix it later."

"No, no. I'll fix it for you right now. Is the bedroom down this hall?"

"No don't!" I yelled frightened to the core that he'd see all the pictures of James and me, of everything we had before that blasted mission took him away.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutly." I said as I entered the living room in my LBD, thank Merlin I kept it after all these years, even though this is a business dinner.

* * *

Bryan, looking gorgeous as ever in a blue button down shirt that made his blue eyes pop, took my hand and apparated right out of the flat. When we reached our "destination" he blindfolded me and walked me through what seemed like a never ending maze of mystery. When we reached the place our date was to take place the blindfold came off and we were standing a top a building overlooking Paris. The view was amazing and everything looked peaceful and perfect. Our date was dinner on the roof of a building with a small little table meant for two, with candles floating around the walkway to the table. As we sat down a little house elf appeared and asked us for our order and instantly brought it back to us. The food, the view, Bryan, everything was simply intoxicating and this most certainly didn't feel like a business dinner.

"Bryan? Why does it feel as though this isn't a business dinner, but a date?" I timidly asked him, regretting it as soon as the words escaped my mouth. "I shouldn't be here. I can't be here. What about his girlfriend? Merlin, it's only been almost two months. This is so unbelievably wrong and stupid."

"Lily, it is a date or so I thought. I thought we shared mutual feelings for each other. If you don't I understand, I just can't stop thinking about you and I want to get to know you better. If you just want me to leave I'll leave. But first can we please at least indulge ourselves in this beautiful meal? And enjoy the view?"

The look on his face was too hard to say no to. Everything was too perfect for words, it was magical. The food was spectacular, and it all felt right. 'How could I feel this way when James has been gone for only a month? This is totally irresponsible' one side of me screamed at my conscious, while the other side kept yelling right at the 'responsible' side 'He would want me to have fun. This isn't long term at all. Just two people who are attracted to one another, getting to know each other.'

* * *

As we disapparated into my living room, I had made up my mind. Bryan and I could only be just friends then in a few months if James wasn't alive and was pronounced dead, then we could be something more but for now we had to be just friends it isn't fair to either by going out with Bryan while I am still in a relationship with James. I also came to the conclusion that, Bryan needed to know about James, and James, being the jealous man he is, doesn't need to know about Bryan.

"Bryan, there is something I need for you to understand." I looked at him waiting for him to say something, or acknowledge what I said. He didn't so I continued, "I'm kinda already in a relationship with someone, we've been together for a long time and-" I went into la, la land thinking about James.

"Where is he then?" Bryan asked calmer than I could imagine him to be at news like this. When I didn't answer he raised his voice, "Where is he then?" That snapped me back to reality.

"He's an auror, they called him out on a mission last month and we didn't know how long he would be gone or where he went. He could be dead for all I know. But it's only been a month, I can't do that to you or him or myself quite yet." He nodded his head in understanding, "I am attracted to you Bryan. I'm very, very, very attracted to you but it's not fair to you if I'm in a relationship and have feelings for another man. It just wouldn't be fair to you at all." I began rambling.

"Shhhh… Lily its okay. I understand and if I have to be just friends with you I will. I will be your friend for however long you want." Just as Bryan finished his sentence there was a noise coming from the spare room in the flat. Out of curiosity we went to see who or what was causing the noise. As we neared the door someone walked out and before we saw who it was we heard,

"Lilykins! Darling how have you been? It's been too long."

"Lily, do you care to explain why this man is shirtless in your flat?" the look on Bryan's face was unreadable. I couldn't decipher anything but a hint of confusion and hurt swimming in the pool of blue in his eyes.

"Bryan it's not him, I swear. Bryan this is his best mate Sirius Black, and Sirius this is Bryan Smith, Chaser for" I started.

"for Puddlemere United." Bryan finished extending his hand to Sirius, his voice proud.

"I know, I know." Sirius began, "Lils, can I have a word with you alone." Sirius said ignoring Bryan's outstretched hand, and grabbing a hold of my arm.

"Sure." I said timidness obvious in my voice.

* * *

As Sirius dragged me into the kitchen being sure to put many muffling charms all over the place so Bryan can't hear a word we said. Once we were in the kitchen area, with no chance of Bryan hearing us, Sirius snapped.

"LILY MARIE EVANS, HOW CAN YOU BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AFTER JAMES BEING GONE FOR ONE MONTH?! HUH? HE'S JUST LIKE JAMES TOO, BESIDES HOW HE LOOKS because James has black hair and his is a shade of blond, BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT! DOES JAMES KNOW ABOUT HIM? DOES HE, BECAUSE ONCE HE FINDS OUT HE'LL BE IN A JEALOUS RAGE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD GO AND CHEAT ON A BOYFRIEND OF MERLIN KNOWS HOW MANY YEARS!" Of course I expected as much from him, being James' best mate but I didn't think he would be this mad.

"Sirius." He wasn't paying any attention, "SIRIUS BLACK LOOK AT ME AND LISTEN CLOSELY. Yes, Bryan and I went on a date, are we in a relationship? No. Do we have feelings for one another? Absolutly. Would I cheat on James?" Sirius nodded his head 'no' in response, "You have nothing to worry about. We just agreed to be just friends. That's all," he gave me a look. "Not friends with benefits. Just friends. And I'm going to need support through this entire agony of James being gone and he promised me he'd help me." I was on the verge of breaking down for the first time in weeks and he knew it. He came closer and held me in one of his rarely given hugs.

"I just miss him so much," I started crying into his shoulder. "Being around you and Remus only make me depressed because you're his best friends and Bryan has no connection to him and he makes me forget about everything."

"Do Alice and Marlene know?" He sincerely asked me, "We're here for you Lils if you need anything you know that right?" I nodded under his head. "Good." And he kissed the top of my head in a brotherly fashion and broke our embrace.

"By the way why are you shirtless?" I asked raising one eyebrow.

"Oh, I was just working on the spare room, like James asked me to."

"He asked you to? When?"

"A month before the mission."

"Oh, well okay then. Anyways, can you just give Bryan a chance will you? Please?" I asked after remembering his rage from a few moments ago.

"Whatever you want. I'll be civilized and that's all."

"That's all I'm asking of you." and we walked back out to that hallway and into the living room for a second impression.

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**A/N: Hey Guys! Okay so my computer has been acting up lately but I should be getting a new one pretty soon! Anyways, If you're still reading this thank you! I know it's been awhile but yeah. Special thanks to _James n Lily r in LOVE_ whose reviewed all my stories and such! Thanks to everyone whose reviewed and yeah! Hope you liked this chapter please click that button down there and leave your feedback or what you want to see in later chapters and feel free to pm me anything about any of my stories. And so sorry about the half a year wait!**

**Until next time my loves,**

**Allison  
**


	6. Chapter 4 teaser chapter

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling**

**A.N. THIS IS A TEASER CHAPTER NOT A FULL BLOWN CHAPTER!**

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Weeks and moths passed without hearing anything from Jame or of James. Slowly he slipped out of my mind and I began letting Bryan into my life. I became the happiest I had been in a long time.

_James-_

_Of course I still miss you but thinking of you only leads to depression, and you would want me to be happy. I hope. The guys approve of Bryan and so do Alice and Marlene. He's simply perfect. Of course, he's not as perfect as you, but he's pretty damn close. We're actually moving in together in a couple of days. I'm still keeping the flat, only Sirius is going to be living in it because of that project he's been working on in that room for you. I hope you get this letter and all the others I've written to you. I just want to let you know I will never stop loving you and that this is probably the last letter I will ever write to you._

_Lovingly Yours,_

_Lily_

I sealed it and put it into that desk with all the others I've written to him in the past few months.

"Lily?" I heard Alice call, "Where are you?" No doubt I was running late for our Girl's Night.

"Hold on! I just need to finish getting dressed!" I called out from my closet sliding on one of the many dresses Bryan bought me last week. The reason for this whole girl's night is because Alice & Marlene both think that once I move in with Bryan that'll be the end of me. Personally, I think they're both crazy and being over dramatic. Anyways, they were taking me out to this new restaurant on the other side of town that is supposed to be the place to be for both us and the muggles.

"Well, hurry up! We have reservations at 10 and it's 9:57! I don't want to be late!" She finished as I entered the living room. "Oh, Lils. You. Look. Amazing!" she squealed, "Now, come on! We're leaving right now!" and she grabbed my arm to begin side-long apparation out of my flat to the restaurant.

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**A.N. Okay so I went totally MIA this summer.... So, sorry! I had the chapter written and then my laptop got some virus and everything got deleted and i lost just about everything! This is just like a teaser for what's coming up I have about 10 pages written in my Forever and Always spiral of notes/ summary of the chapter and im only 1/2 way done with it! I'll try to have it at least 1/2 way typed on here by the 25th if not totally done! Review? :)**


	7. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING OR ANYONE YOU RECGONIZE, JUST THE PLOT LINE!!**

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Weeks and months passed without hearing anything from Jame or of James. Slowly he slipped out of my mind and I began letting Bryan into my life. I became the happiest I had been in a long time.

_James-_

_Of course I still miss you but thinking of you only leads to depression, and you would want me to be happy. I hope. The guys approve of Bryan and so do Alice and Marlene. He's simply perfect. Of course, he's not as perfect as you, but he's pretty damn close. We're actually moving in together in a couple of days. I'm still keeping the flat, only Sirius is going to be living in it because of that project he's been working on in that room for you. I hope you get this letter and all the others I've written to you. I just want to let you know I will never stop loving you and that this is probably the last letter I will ever write to you._

_Lovingly Yours,_

_Lily_

I sealed it and put it into that desk with all the others I've written to him in the past few months.

"Lily?" I heard Alice call, "Where are you?" No doubt I was running late for our Girl's Night.

"Hold on! I just need to finish getting dressed!" I called out from my closet sliding on one of the many dresses Bryan bought me last week. The reason for this whole girl's night is because Alice & Marlene both think that once I move in with Bryan that'll be the end of me. Personally, I think they're both crazy and being over dramatic. Anyways, they were taking me out to this new restaurant on the other side of town that is supposed to be the place to be for both people like us and the muggles.

"Well, hurry up! We have reservations at 10 and it's 9:57! I don't want to be late!" She finished as I entered the living room. "Oh, Lils. You. Look. Amazing!" she squealed, "Now, come on! We're leaving right now!" and she grabbed my arm to begin side-long apparition out of my flat to the restaurant.

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My flat was filled with boxes of my stuff along with Sirius' stuff as well. I was finally moving in with Bryan, and I couldn't stop smiling. His house is, of course, huge, due to the fact that he's a pro quidditch player. The house, more like mansion, lays on the outer area of the Southampton area. It's a french country-side style "house" with 2 floors, a quidditch pitch, and this huge side garden, it's simply beautiful. Of course, I'll need a map to be able to navigate through it the first few weeks most likely.

"Lils, are you ready to go?" I heard one of my boys ask me from behind the clutter of boxes near the front door, I think.

"What? Oh, yeah. Just let me put this key on the desk and I'll be ready!" I called out from where the boxes labeled 'Hair Products' in Sirius' writing were.

As I made my way out of the bedroom for the last time most likely, something hanging on the wall caught my eye. It wasn't a picture, or a painting, but a note written on the back of James' 7th year class schedule. It was the note that changed our lives.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Flashback-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Give me that right now Potter!" a seventeen year old Lily Evans yelled at a messy haired James Potter.

"Sure thing, Evans." A smug looking James said and handed it over to the red-head just as McGonagall entered her classroom and told all the 7th year Gryffindors and Slytherins to be quiet. As Lily sat in her seat she turned his schedule over and scribbled something down and slid it to him. As he looked at it he read,

_Just ask me already Potter!!!_

He smirked at that and wrote,

**Ask you what Lily?**

That only made her frustrated so she continued,

_You know what!!!!!_

**No, I don't think I do.**

She looked at him after she read that and saw the mischievous gleam in his eyes and his signature lopsided smirk, that she had slowly learned to love.

_Fine then. _

He didn't write back for awhile, he just sat there starring at the back of his schedule. It wasn't until halfway through the lesson that he finally did pick up his quill and respond.

**Will you, Lily Evans, bgo out with me, James Potter? Happy?**

He still had that smug smirk on his face when he passed the paper back to her.

_No_

He looked over his shoulder and the smirk was wiped off entirely.

_Maybe_

After she wrote that his eyes lit up like a little kid opening his Christmas presents and that was when she realized she really didn't hate him or dislike him or find him annoying. That was the moment she realized that after 7 years of claiming pure hatred, she actually loved him, deep, deep down.

Maybe?! Are you serious?? Or is this a joke?, a new hand scribbled in

**Butt out Padfoot!!! You're ruining the moment!**

_Yeah Sirius!_

They heard him chuckling at them for the conversation they'd been having.

**So, I actually have a chance at a chance???**

_No_

The light and glint his eyes had fell off of his face.

_You're having a chance as of a minute ago._

After reading this James leaped from his seat and held the piece of paper waving it as though it was a flag. He began to yell, " She said 'yes'! Lily Marie Evans, the girl of my dreams said 'yes'!!!!"

"Technically, mate she said maybe and no but whatever floats your boat."

"Mr. Potter, sit down this instant!" McGonagall said with a smile on her usually stern and strict face.

"Sorry Professor."

"Just don't let it happen again Potter." And with that she continued on with their first Transfiguration lesson of their last year.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------End Flashback-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heard my name and felt a hand resting on my shoulder, which brought me out of my past. When Bryan and I apparated out of my old home a sense of closure washed over me. I couldn't help but think that, that chapter of my life was finally finished, never to be resurrected. When we appeared in my new "home" all of the boxes I had which overwhelmed my small little flat, seemed so tiny and out of place in Bryan's foyer. With a wave of his wand the boxes began unpacking themselves.

"Welcome home, Lils." Bryan whishpered into my ear.

"So, Bryan not that we've finished the hardest part of moving, what do you want to do?" I asked giggling as he swooped me up and into his arms.

"Well, darling. There are many things we can do," he said with a smirk on his handsome face, "Although sadly there is nothing we can do right this instant, do to my quidditch practice in 30 minutes, and I need to be there in 10."

"Oh, you never told me you had quidditch today," I quietly murmured the giddiness disappearing.

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**A/N: It is very short but I'm posting it anyways.... For all of you that have stuck with me the whole time, Thank you! You mean so much to me and for those new readers you're awesome and i love you guys too! I made a website that I will post 'teasers' of chapters on it and stuff so check it once a month! .. I will add onto this chapter before the year is done and that is a promise i will keep! .com **


	8. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT WHAT YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE**

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**Previously:**

_I heard my name and felt a hand resting on my shoulder, which brought me out of my past. When Bryan and I apparated out of my old home a sense of closure washed over me. I couldn't help but think that, that chapter of my life was finally finished, never to be resurrected. When we appeared in my new "home" all of the boxes I had which overwhelmed my small little flat, seemed so tiny and out of place in Bryan's foyer. With a wave of his wand the boxes began unpacking themselves._

_"Welcome home, Lils." Bryan whishpered into my ear._

_"So, Bryan not that we've finished the hardest part of moving, what do you want to do?" I asked giggling as he swooped me up and into his arms._

_"Well, darling. There are many things we can do," he said with a smirk on his handsome face, "Although sadly there is nothing we can do right this instant, do to my quidditch practice in 30 minutes, and I need to be there in 10."_

_"Oh, you never told me you had quidditch today," I quietly murmured the giddiness disappearing._

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_

"I guess I'll invite Alice over and explore this place." Bryan simply nodded his head.

"That'll be fun." I nodded at his words, "Well, my lady, I must bid you adieu." And after he kissed my head he walked away unable to hear me ask when he planned on returning. I never did phone Alice inviting her over nor Marlene, something just felt off. All I did was lay on the bed for hours trying to remember if i felt like this when I first moved in with James into our flat.... only I couldn't remember, everything always felt so light and breezy not stiff and boring. It's strange for me to think of the people I was once inseperable from when the thought of them was irrelavent now.

I must've fallen asleep thinking about _Him_ because when i stirred from my slumber it was pitch black outside and Bryan was back. "Hey," I said yawning. "How was your practice?"

"What? Oh, practice. It was fine, you know same old, same old."

"Are you okay? Bryan you seem a bit out of it."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just tired is all."

"Oh, okay."

"Lils, I think I'm going to go to bed now if you don't mind, long day and all."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Okay I'll just be downstairs."

"Alright, 'night Love."

"What? Oh, night." And I left the room. It was a cool and clear night, so I did something I hadn't done since my days at Hogwarts, I went out to Bryan's Quidditch Pitch to just lie under the stars and think. I thought about everything and anything. It was dawn when I finally realized how much I thought about.

* * *

Bryan and I soon got into a routine and things began to feel the way they should, happy and full of love. Our job hours somehow began to correspond to eachother's and everything was perfect. Too perfect for words.

* * *

Before we knew it it was December and we were getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Bryan and I decoreated his entire house in a traditional Christmas fashion. On Christmas Eve we had Bryan's parents over for a nice "family dinner". As Bryan was helping his parents get to the front door, insiting to do it himself, I began to clean up our not too messy mess in the dinning room. Suddenly my eyes were covered by someone's hands and he whispered, "Are your eyes closed?" giggling at Bryan for asking such a silly question nodding my head yes at the same time. "Well keep them closed, I have a surprise for you." he then uncovered my eyes and grabbed my hand dragging me to a room like a little kid in a candy store. "Okay, Lils. Keep them closed I just need to quickly do something."

I kept my eyes closed and in a second he told me to open them. We were in a room with the grandest Christmas tree I had ever seen, covered in ornaments looking as old as Hogwarts and as new as the day with candles floating all over the place. But what surprised me most of all was seeing Bryan in front of me holding a large terribly wrapped present.

"Bryan, love. Is this another gift?"

"Maybe...." he said smirking that loveable smirk of his. I had been pacient for awhile that after several minutes of staring at him i began to tear the wrappings off. When I finishedunwapping it I opened the elegant box only to pull out the most elegant gown I had ever laid my eyes on. It went down to the floor when I held it against my body. It was black with a band of diamonds across the part for my upper back. the back had no fabric until it was supposed to reach the small of my back, it was a halter style as well with a small band of diamonds holding the part for my breasts together. Of course I adored the gown only I was slightly confused as to why Bryan would give me such an extravagant gown, along with the loads of diamonds he'd given me earlier.

After I put the gown down gently in the box I went to give Bryan a kiss only to see he had gotten down on one knee, holding a small velvet box in one of his hands with another starting to open it.

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**A/N: hehehehe cliff-hanger.... Sorry, just really wanted to do that to give it more depth. For those of you who miss James, have no fear he will return in one of the next few chapters :) Sorry about being MIA for awhile things are chaotic, at the moment with computers dying all around me *sigh* My goal is to have James back by the beggining of December or middle of December. I already have his return written out :) And special shout-out to luverofjamesandlily (You're the best seriously!) It would be wonderful to have reviews as well! :) --Allison**


	9. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any character you recognize**

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**Previously: **_I went to give Bryan a kiss only to see he had gotten down on one knee, holding a small velvet box in one of his hands with another starting to open it._

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As he began to open the box he said, "Lily Marie Evans, will you..." He paused opening the last bit of the box, "will you do me the honor and accompany me to the Puddlemere United New Years Eve Ball. As my fiancé?" and suddenly two tickets popped up in the box.

"Of course! I'd love to!" I said giggling, ecstatic that we were going to be married, and pulled him up to his feet in pure bliss.

* * *

It was the night of the ball and I had two brilliant men escorting me, granted one was just there to meet the players for Puddlemere. As soon as Bryan, Sirius and I arrived I couldn't help but shake the feeling as though something was off, very off. Sirius had walked off talking to the seeker while Bryan and I sat down at our table. Suddenly, I could hear shouting coming from somewhere in the venue.

"Sirius! What are you doing here?!" I recognized the voice but where had I heard it before? "Sirius, I said WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" The voice seemed to grow louder and more annoyed at Sirius.

"Actually mate, you asked not told." Merlin, Sirius just had to say that to an agitated wizard didn't he. Bryan being curious about Sirius ability to find someone and piss them off within 10 minutes went to find out what all the trouble was about, with me by his side. And there he was. James. The man I thought I couldn't live without.

"Lils" he said his voice soft and sweet the way I loved, walking towards me as though I was the only person he could see. When he reached me he picked me up in a hug and was about to kiss me like he used to only, I wasn't his anymore. I had moved on and in a heartbeat he noticed that. His face fell every ounce of happiness draining from his face as he saw Bryan's arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him. Suddenly, James' face was unreadable, I was fearful of what was to come.

"What's going on Lils? Who's he?"

"James, Merlin he's my.... Bryan's my well" and I held up my left hand. Realization suddenly dawned on James' face. "He plays for Puddlemere United that's why we're here." I said watching his heart break into a million little pieces.

"Bryan... How about you introduce me to the rest of the team? eh?" Sirius said seeing how we needed alone time.

"What oh- yeah sure." Bryan then kissed me on my head, trying to avoid James' death glares, and left with Sirius.

"But, Lily.... What about our plan? huh? What about that?" he asked with his eyes swimming like a lost puppy's.

"James, you were gone for over a year! I couldn't wait any longer. I'm so sorry." I was crying by now out of pure guilt and happiness to see him alive and well.

"Did you not get any of my letters? I wrote to you every chance I could, each letter telling you the same thing that I was coming home soon and that I loved you. Here I am now, in London, where the woman i couldn't stop thinking about is engaged."

"James, I am....." and he disappeared. Leaving me in the most beautiful gown and jewelry with my heart being torn in two opposing directions. It took Bryan and Sirius an hour before the realized James was gone and went to find me and when they did they didn't expect to see me in the state I was. I was crying harder than I did when James had left my engagement ring on the other side of the room where it scraped the wall. I was hyperventilating as well. When he saw me like this Sirius immediately began to start damage control apparating me to Bryan's house while Bryan went to give farewells to everyone. My engagement ring being forgotten on the other side of the room.

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(James POV)

How could she do that to me? How could she ignore my letters and be with someone else, let alone live with someone else. At least the flat is still mine.... I hope. As I entered the front door I could smell Sirius' signature scent. Go figure he would be staying here since I own the place. As I walked towards the bedroom ready to shower and go to bed I noticed that all of our old photos were still hanging where I left them, as though she hadn't taken anything to remind her of me. Everything was in its same spot except for the desk which stood in the bedroom still only it contained a different vibe as though it was enchanted to draw me towards it. It looked the same covered with papers and articles and magazines, although as I looked through the stack a letter fell out of the pile. Curious I picked it up to see Lily's handwriting on the outside. It was addressed to me, being super curious I hastily opened it up to find a key and pieces of parchment inside. I began to read.

It wasn't long but short and sweet with many lily-disapproving mistakes due to all the words crossed out. I just can't get of the fact that she's actually gone, that I'll never be able to get her back, and the only thing I can be to her now is a friend. I couldn't bring myself to open the drawer with the letters due to the fact that I was afraid of what they would contain. I suddenly heard a voice in the living room. "James! Mate! I know you're in here! You know for an auror you're terrible at being stealthy." Sirius yelled entering my bedroom a moment later, "Ahhh... So that's what she put in there." I wasn't listening to him too hurt to believe my best mate allowed Lily to become engaged.

"Mate, I know you're upset but she had to move on she was in pain from you leaving and he made her happy again and brought her back to life. She thought you were dead." He said patting me on my back.

"Did she never check the post of get any of my owls? Did she?" Anger suddenly building up inside me.

"James, she rarely got the post from downstairs you know her. Take the key and go look, all you letters will still be there believe me, if she had gotten them she wouldn't be engaged you know Lily. Which reminds me, why did you leave her there tonight?"

"What do you mean? I left her with her fiancé."

"Well, she didn't go out to find him."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"She's devastated. She's worse now than she was last year and you're back which only makes it worse."

"Well, I need to see her!"

"No, you can't! Look here's the key for the letters I would suggest you read them and I'll go check the post downstairs for your letters, and if there are any I'll take them to her."

"But.... Okay fine, you know what's best at the moment."

"Don't I always?"

"Don't push it." And Sirius disappeared from the room to go check the box downstairs for me while I brought myself to open the drawer.

There were at least 200 letters it seemed in that drawer from throughout the year.

* * *

(Sirius P.O.V.)

As I walked down to the boxes I opened it to find not a few but one hundred twenty seven letters from James in there. They were all to Lily in his handwriting with no return address. Delighted to give these to Lily I hastily apparated to Bryan's house to attempt to comfort her.

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(Lily POV)

He hates me. He'll never forgive me for what I've done to him. Merlin how can I be so stupid, of course he wrote to me, I was just too preoccupied to think about it. I shouldn't have ever said yes to Bryan, I just shouldn't of. I should probably begin to read these but I just can't bring myself to do it. If I burn them maybe everything will disappear? Or I could ask Bryan to do the obliviate charm on me or I can just submit myself to a mental institution. Of course everything was too good to be true to actually be in love and happy again. I don't even know why I said yes in the first place to him.

I just love both of them so much that I can't choose just one. I want both in my life somehow. I just need to get out of here for a while. I could use some of my holiday hours and just go wherever my heart takes me. It's not healthy to have to choose someone you care about over another with the chance of losing them for good.

"Sweetheart? Are you okay?" He walked over and sat behind me on the bed and I couldn't help but melt into his muscular quidditch toned arms.

"Wha- Oh, yeah… Hey is it…"

"Darling you're not okay. He really hurt you tonight you don't have to be so kind about it. It killed me to see you the way you were earlier."

"Bryan. He didn't hurt me as much as I hurt myself by hurting him! It's not his fault I never got these, it's all mine! I'm the reason I was like that earlier!"

"Alright then. I'm sorry forgive me." He then reached to grab my left hand pulling it up towards his mouth for a kiss. "Lils, where's your engagement ring?! It's a family heirloom! Where did it go!?"

"What it should be on my finger, I never took it off. I don't remember taking it off. Where is it?" I was frantic throwing things around looking for the gorgeous emerald and diamond antique. Suddenly, something from earlier flooded back to me.

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(**Flashback**)

_"James I'm so sorry. I just had to move on" I said to the empty room. "I don't want this! Any of it!" I screamed out frantically pulling the ring of my left hand and hurling it across the room. "I don't want it! I don't want it! I don't want him!" I was hyperventilating praying that James could hear me, and realize how hurt and broken I've been._

_"Lily! Lils! Are you okay? Look at me. Come on Lily, deep breaths, that' a girl." It was Sirius holding me tightly as he had many nights before, comforting my empty heart._

_"Sirius, take her home. I'll go and announce that we have left to those who we were talking to."_

_"Alright. But hurry home I'll be with her until you arrive then I must go and do damage control elsewhere._

* * *

Crap…. I wonder if there is any way we can get to that room. I wonder if the party is still going it's not yet midnight, so it must be, after all its New Years Eve.

"Ummmm…. Bryan I may of possibly taken it off and left it somewhere."

"Where Lils? Tell me and I'll go get it."

"Well, tonight after James left it may have somehow flown to the other side of that room."

"Did he physically harm you to get that ring off of your finger? Did he make you do it? Lils, how'd it get over there? Never mind I'm going to go and see if it's still there, it should be, but is that the only place it would be?"

To shaken up by the fact that he suspected James hurt me, I couldn't open my mouth so instead I simply nodded.

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(James POV)

"Prongs? Remus is here to see you. He's really worried about everything." It was early the next morning when Sirius returned to the flat from Lily's and of course he had to go and bring Remus over to tell me to 'logically think about everything'. I don't care about logic I care about love, my love the one I want to have back to be mine, forever and always like we promised.

"Moony look, I don't want or need a lecture about what is logical to do, I could care less about logic or fair play, I will do anything just to have her back to being mine."

"But, James that's not fair to Lily. She was miserable before she met Bryan who made her happy, and helped her move on. You two are in totally different places right now! Think about it."

"But... I want her back! I want her to be mine! Not his, he doesn't love her the way I do!"

"James, we know that and she knows that, but you also know Lily. She's not going to break off the engagement, she just can't do that. The best you could be to her now is a friend."

"But, I won't be happy with being _just _friends, you know that!"

"Yes, we know that Prongs, but Moony has a point." Sirius had his signature glint in his eyes when he spoke, he had an idea and I would be happy with it.

"I guess he does. Moony, you're right I'm sorry to have yelled at you know if you'll leave I would like to continue on with these." I gestured to the mounds of letters still laying in on the bed, and they left me in peace to continue on with a plan forming in my mind.

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**A/N: Well here's chapter six, sorry about the bit of repetivness going on but I just felt it gave it a bit more character. Also, I know you hate it but yes I did make Lily and Bryan to be engaged but it also adds more drama to it, meaning there will be many more chapters to come! Reviews would be ever so wonderful :)**


	10. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING HARRY POTTER RELATED.... Yadda yadda yadda same old same old****

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_"But, James that's not fair to Lily. She was miserable before she met Bryan who made her happy, and helped her move on. You two are in totally different places right now! Think about it."_

_"But... I want her back! I want her to be mine! Not his, he doesn't love her the way I do!"_

_"James, we know that and she knows that, but you also know Lily. She's not going to break off the engagement, she just can't do that. The best you could be to her now is a friend."_

_"But, I won't be happy with being just friends, you know that!"_

_"Yes, we know that Prongs, but Moony has a point." Sirius had his signature glint in his eyes when he spoke, he had an idea and I would be happy with it._

_"I guess he does. Moony, you're right I'm sorry to have yelled at you know if you'll leave I would like to continue on with these." I gestured to the mounds of letters still laying in on the bed, and they left me in peace to continue on with a plan forming in my mind, that hopefully was in Sirius' as well._

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Days passed slowly for Lily and James, both wondering how they ended up where they were. They spoke to no one except their minds and consciences. The letters all being read with thoughts floating through their minds. For Lily she went through the actions of her days through a dazed trance unsure of which she should listen to her mind, her heart, or her gut all three equally pulling her. She was staying with Marlene attempting to get away from everything from Bryan raging about how James left her heartbroken, to not daring to try to face James' broken heart and to Sirius attempting to hint she has always belonged with James.

James kept to himself in the flat he was sharing with Sirius, never leaving his room. He re-read her letters to him over and over again wondering how she could just give it all up, and not stay and wait or even check their box on the main floor. His 2 new loves became firewhiskey and those letters, never leaving his room except to get more whiskey or food.

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Merlin... What on Earth am I going to do, I'm worried sick about James and what he's doing to himself yet I shouldn't I'm not his anymore yet he's still mine, but he shouldn't still be mine. I've committed myself to Bryan, I can't just leave him because James is back, how do I know James will never leave again?

"Lils? Lily? I'm home"

"Wha- oh, Marlene... hey"

"Darling, you've got to stop moping! It's bad for your complexion." Leave it to Marlene to think about looks during an emotional period in my life.

"I know... well actually that's a lie but still... It's hard to care about looks when I have to choose someone and hurt someone so very dear to me." I began to walk away back into the room I was occupying in her tiny little flat when she stopped me and told me she had an idea that was bound to work.

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"James! Get out here right now!" Ouch... That's loud, why do I have a headache and why am I being woken up at, well early? "Stop it! This is sicking mate and it's time for an intervention so, GET OUT OF BED!" suddenly i was flung above my bed and promptly turned upside down.

"Bloody Hell! Sirius you git! What's that for?! I feel horrible and you go do this to me?!" Only i realized he had silenced me shortly after I called him a git.

"James, you're a mess! What do you think Lily would say if she saw you like this? Do you think she'd choose you?" Remus asked walking into the room behind Padfoot letting me fall head-first onto my bed.

"She already made her choice. She choose Bryan."

"Tsk, tsk, Prongsie, are you not going to fight for her? And what makes you think she's made a decision yet?" Sirius said throwing me a tonic.

"Thanks mate," I started after gulping down the potion to which he nodded in reply. "Ummm... In case you weren't aware, they're engaged!"

"Yet she has yet to choose a date or location yet. She's been putting off any type of planning for a while come to think of it." Said Remus sitting on one side of me while Sirius occupied the other.

"She hasn't? But she loves him, he's perfect for her, his job doesn't put him in danger on a daily basis."

"That may be true but you know Lily, she's the most loyal person you've ever met besides us."

"Obviously, she's changed! She's bloody engaged to that, that, person-thing."

"True, but who says a little bit of mischief won't change that?" The look on Remus' face surprised me the most after he replied, he wore a look that I only ever expected to see Sirius wearing and then I remembered my plan which I drunkenly forgot about.

* * *

I cannot believe I let her talk me into this. She is out of her mind, delusional, crazy! If Marlene thinks going out to clubs will help solve all my problems then I don't know why I'm even friends with her still. Suddenly the sea of people begins to part and,

"Marlene,is that SIRIUS?!" Bloody Hell is she trying to make me die?

"What, no that's just his ummmm twin?" She's fidgiting great, something very wrong is going on and she's trying to hide it all from me.

"Ladies, how odd to bump into you on this fine Tuesday night." He said, turning back the way he came from to yell, "Boys they're here get the tables ready!!"

"Alright you two what in Merlin's beard is-" suddenly I felt a hand rest on the small of my back, "James? I told you I don't want to see you until I can wrap my brain around it all"

"Actually, it's Bryan but I'll leave if you don't want-"

"Nonsense, Bryan ma-boy" Sirius exclaimed grabbing a hold of Bryan's hand pulling him away from me and towards the stage, "You're just in time!" I'm confused beyond belief just in time for what...??

"James! Darling, so great to finally see you again!" Wait... why's Marlene talking to James, what is he even doing here?

"Marlene! Sirius! What the Hell is going on here?!" I yelled trying to gain their attention only to be ignored.

"Lily, after all these years I've learned simply to just smile and nod and wait for their plans to backfire." A voice said behind me, slowly pushing me towards the tables I can only assume Sirius was referring to earlier.

"Remus John Lupin! What is going on?" I turned towards him, doing my best to glare daggers at him, "Remus... Remy... please I can't see them right now!"

"Believe me Lils I know but this will back fire before you know it." And with a smile on my old friends face i was gently pushed into a chair next to a wall.

* * *

This was not what I thought Sirius and I were both silently thinking... This is stupid it will never work! A muggle-type game show? What on Earth have they been doing while I was gone, play with Muggle toys and contraptions? I can't even see Lils all I can see is that stupid-quidditch player, whose team isn't even that good... hmph...

* * *

"Sirius, I honestly don't think this is a good idea." Remus told his old friend quietly after finally convincing Lily to be quiet and stay seated.

"Nonsense, it'll work and I will prove you wrong once again." Sirius boasted loudly to his old friend.

"When have you ever been right, and this is not when I meant by get them in the same room as each other by the way!" Remus nearly yelled.

* * *

A.N. I know it's been ages *tear* things have been busy and I'm not done with the chapter but feel bad for not really posting so here you go please review good or bad i'd like to know!


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